Then
by filesfreak4life
Summary: Lucas sets out to write his next novel... and the life he has led is relived in moments. Inspired by Brad Paisely's "Then". Leyton


Okay, the premise of this is Lucas writing a third novel. The words in _italics_ are excerpts from Lucas' novel. The words in **bold** are words to a Brad Paisley song "Then". And the words that are in regular typeset are the flashbacks he has while writing and the flashbacks he has from the lyrics of the song. Some of them are scenes that we were "missing" from the show and some of them are AU future OTH moments that I thought could happen. I hope you get it once you start reading! Let me know what you think by reviewing as well, cause any comments make me smile!!

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_My name is Lucas Scott, and my second novel was a failure. I have to tell you that because I'm not a man who lies often. If you are reading this third attempt at a book, then I assume that you found something in my freshman attempt that kept you curious about me. When I wrote that novel, I was inspired, I was young, and it was effortless. When I wrote the second novel, I was inspired, still young, and after I got started, it too was effortless. However, when I wrote that, there was one thing missing… Peyton._

_Have you ever truly met your muse? She was out of my life and then the moment she came back in, I found myself in front of a computer screen typing about a man who lost his "comet", and how he waited his whole life for it to return to him someday. My best friend, Haley told me that it was about Peyton, the girl I fell in love with when I was sixteen and didn't know any better. My editor, who was my fiancé at the time I finished the novel also told me that it was about Peyton, the woman who she could never replace._

**I remember, trying not to stare, the night that I first met you.**

**You had me mesmerized.**

"Luke, how can we be even remotely sure about all this?"

"You're kidding right?"

She shakes her head, sitting on their couch after moving in just a few weeks earlier, still new in their rebuilt relationship.

"I'm sorry…"

"You don't have anything to be sorry about, Lucas, I'm the one—"

"No, I'm sorry for all of the things that I've done to make you doubt that I am madly in love with you. Peyton, everything that we've gone through these past four years, including the last few months has been taking us right here. I've known it all along, I just needed a reminder."

"A reminder?"

"The comet…on the river court."

"I'm sorry about the subtlety of that…"

"No, Haley was right, and you were right. The whole book was another love letter to you, telling you that I missed you and that I needed you. After Haley left, the night I found that painting, I walked over to TRIC."

"Where I told you about my dream."

He nods, continuing, "I had to walk past that spot where you almost ran me over with your car. And it was like it all came crashing in around me. It made all the sense in the world at that moment. I remember finally catching your eye after so many years of sitting off to the side as someone you didn't even know existed. I couldn't even say anything to you, Peyton, I just stared."

"And I shooed you away, telling you that you needed to get out of my way..."

"You didn't say it though, just told me with your eyes. You know your eyes are the part of you that I can never get out of my head. You say so much with your eyes, and that night, I couldn't even say a word to you."

"So, this is going to be okay? We're going to get through this?"

_To say that I was an ass is an understatement of epic proportions. I found out years after the fact that Peyton was at the book signing I invited her to in L.A. a nearly a year after I left her in that hotel room. That was the first night I went out with Lindsay._

_Lindsay was safe for me. She was solid, and she was kind. She didn't challenge me like Peyton did, and she didn't know me in that same sense, but she was there. Since I thought Peyton hadn't come, I took a chance on Lindsay Strauss. I took a chance that lasted almost three years, and could have ended up lasting a lifetime if she hadn't called it off._

_We fought about that, Peyton and I, when we got back from Las Vegas. Yes, we were going to elope after everything. Peyton still found it hard to see that I could say "I do" to another woman if I was meant to be with her. If I knew it in my heart, than I shouldn't have been able to say those words. I tell her that there was someone making sure that we would end up together up in the heavens. She swears that it's her mom, and I swear that it's Keith. He knew that she was it for me._

_I remember coming in to the café and talking about her with my mom, just wishing that she would notice my lanky arms and dirty blonde hair. Hoping that she would see past the other Scott boy and set her sights on me. Then, when I finally talked to her, all the crap everybody gave me about how I still couldn't say that she was human. Nothing that beautiful could be human._

_We got it together after that. A few weeks after our state championship, that moment of clarity that set my heart straight, we had our moment. We had the start of the 'meant to be'._

**Three weeks later in the front porch light, taking forty five minutes to kiss goonight.**

**I hadn't told you yet, I thought I loved you then.**

"You taking Peyton out tonight?" Karen asked from her spot on the couch as she watched the shadows moving around in Lucas' room.

"Yeah." He says coming out of the room in a pair of dark jeans and a blue button-up shirt, "It's our first date."

"Huh… I may be old fashioned, but shouldn't the date come before the making out?"

"Very funny." He squints in her direction.

"You nervous?"

"Why would you say that?"

She watches him pace a minute before glancing at his watch and plopping down next to her in the living room, "because you told me that you were going out at seven o'clock and you are showered, dressed, and ready, and…" she looks at the clock on the wall "it's only five."

He smiles at her, grabbing the remote from its resting spot on the coffee table. "Maybe I just wanted to watch some basketball before I left."

"Really? What teams are playing this early on a Saturday?"

"Uh…"

"It's okay. It's Peyton."

"And what is _that_ supposed to mean?"

"You have had a crush on her since you were younger. In junior high, I remember you coming home and telling me about the young, blonde Peyton Sawyer in your social studies class that you were in love with. If Keith were still around, he would tell you the exact same thing. When you fixed her car out by the lake last year, apparently you couldn't stop talking about her."

"Keith ratted me out."

"It was about a girl, of course he did. We thought it was cute."

They sat for a while before she finally got annoyed with the way his leg bounced up and down in nervousness. "Call her."

"I can't, I told her seven."

"Trust me, she's just as nervous as you."

"Girls aren't like that."

"Don't question my mom powers, she's been ready for the past hour just like you have."

He looks at her before running back to his bedroom to grab his cell phone and call her.

"I hate that you're always right." He says, coming back into the room with his jacket and giving her a kiss on the cheek before walking out the door.

The date that he had planned was simple. Dinner and a walk around downtown with some coffee. They did it all the time, but there was another meaning to it now. They were more than that now.

"This is weird, isn't it?" she finally asks.

"I think it's weird because we're making it weird. We already know each other… isn't that the point of dating?"

She raises an eyebrow, "Well what do you suggest, Lucas Scott?"

"What comes after dating?"

"Making out?" she says with a smirk to her face and another quirk to her eyebrow.

"Checked that one off our list…"

He gives her a suggestive look that speaks volumes before she puts a hand on his chest, "Not gonna happen."

"Ever?"

Grabbing his hand, she laughed before telling him to walk her home.

When they got there, they both knew that he had to be up early the next day for something with his mom, and it was already late. He kissed her for a long while before she finally pushed him away.

"I'll still be here tomorrow when you get done with your mom."

"I know, but that doesn't mean that I don't want to keep doing this now."

She shakes her head with a finger to his lips, "Go, get some sleep, and come take me to lunch tomorrow."

With a final kiss and a shrug he starts walking down her steps, chancing another look to her front porch.

"Hey, Peyton?" he yells back.

"What?"

"Scale of one to ten?"

She looks confused for a moment and then smiles when she realizes that he's asking how their date went, "A hundred."

He probably could pinpoint that moment to knowing that he loved her.

_I have read and reread my first novel a million times. Sometimes it was for editing it, and sometimes it was just because I missed the people in that book. Every time I've read it though, I realize how much we have all accomplished in our lives._

_Brooke has come so far with so many of the dreams that she had. Haley is an amazing mother, musician, and wife. Nathan finally got his dream to play in the NBA. Then there is Peyton._

_I should say that there is me and Peyton. I look back on that novel, remembering how in love with her I was back then. Then I think about all the things we went through to get us to where we are. Finally, getting everything that we hoped for and seeing what she is to me on a daily basis._

**Now you're my whole life, Now you're my whole world.**

**I just can't believe, the way I feel about you girl.**

**Like a river meets the sea, stronger than it's ever been.**

**We've come so far since that day, and I thought I loved you then.**

This was what he lived for, day in and day out. He got home from work to find his wife and his two daughters running around the backyard chasing each other with bubble guns and dandelions.

She was as beautiful as that day by the lake, when he first got to talk to her. Her smile never faded, her curls, though longer still made his heart skip a beat. It was the look that she gave their daughters that never failed to make him think about the life he led now.

"Daddy!" Sawyer says, running up to him with dandelion seeds stuck to every part of her after running through the sticky bubbles.

"And how are you my little dandelion?" he says scooping her up, which was a feat now that she was older.

"Mommy and Danny are chasing me!"

He looks up to see his wife chasing the toddler around the yard while the little girl squeals with delight.

"Well, mommy shouldn't be chasing you! Maybe we should go chase them!"

"Yeah!!" she says, squirming to get back down from her father's arms, "We're gonna get you!"

The two of them join back in, Lucas picking up his youngest daughter and throwing her high in the air before setting her back down. Once Sawyer got to her, he set on grabbing on to his wife, attacking her sides until she squealed.

"Lucas, Stop!!" she screams, laughing, "I can't… Stop!!"

"You and Danielle shouldn't have been chasing Sawyer. That wasn't very nice!" he says with a laugh as he doesn't let up on his attack.

"Luke!"

After another minute he stops, flopping onto the ground next to her, out of breath himself.

"Work?" she asks.

"Good… Label Stuff?"

"Wonderful."

He checks on the kids, who are now playing in the playhouse with each other, before rolling on his side to face her.

"You're beautiful…"

"Stop it… I'm covered in bubbles and dandelions, and my new Clothes Over Bros jeans have grass stains."

"I won't tell Brooke, and besides, I think it's sexy." He says, leaning in to kiss her for a few minutes until they are interrupted by their eldest.

"Daddy, we're done playing the chasing game now, so you have to leave mommy alone." Sawyer says in a matter of fact sort of way that has both of her parents laughing.

"I don't think mommy wants me to leave her alone though!"

"Uh huh! Cause she's got to get your snack!"

Standing up and then helping his wife up, they walk over to the kids, "Sawyer, why do I need a snack?"

"Daddy… it's afterschool. Mommy always makes me an afterschool snack."

Yes, life was perfect.

_Peyton Sawyer has been the love of my life since I was sixteen years old. After we graduated, we kept it together. Then we seemed to share the blame for the rollercoaster that we put our lives on._

_I proposed. It was too early, and I should have known that. We were both just starting our lives, and while we knew that they would end with us together, we didn't know who we were as individuals. She didn't say no, though that is how I took it that night, but she said someday. That was my fault. _

_Then she didn't come to the book signing. She didn't even call me, and ended up falling in love with another man. That was her fault._

_When she came back into my life three years later, and I was involved with another woman, I kept Peyton at a distance. I think that it was because I knew that if I let her back in, I would want her completely. That was my fault._

_I proposed to another woman, the night after she kissed me again after so many years. She came to me and told me that her universe snapped back into focus with that kiss. I couldn't tell her the same because I didn't want to take a risk on Peyton. I was an idiot. That was also my fault._

_The night after I proposed to Lindsay, she came in to the gym that held so many memories for the two of us, and she told me that she let me go. She wanted me to be happy, so she was letting me go. If she would have realized that it was her that would make me happy and kept me, I would have walked across oceans for her. That was her fault._

_I said "I do" on the altar to a woman that was not Peyton. That was my fault._

_Though everyone was telling us that we were meant to be together, and what Lindsay said on the altar was true. Peyton was my comet. She couldn't get past the "I do" I uttered blindly. That was her fault._

_Sometime after all of the problems, I sat in the airport of my hometown and I asked her to fly across the country and marry me. Haley once said that I had the great trifecta of women in my life. It was either Brooke, Lindsay, or Peyton. I just had to pick one. It was never a choice. Peyton wasn't a choice. She was simply the only one. She was the only one I ever wanted to become a Scott. I couldn't believe that she actually said yes._

**I remember, taking you back to right where I first met you.**

**You were so surprised.**

"You do realize that we have been through four proposals in our relationship?" Peyton asks, while tracing circles on his chest in bed that night.

"Not four."

"When you asked me in L.A., calling me from the airport, this morning with the new ring, and technically this evening with Keith's ring."

"Well, only two of them included me actually asking the question 'Will you marry me'… one was a question of if you wanted to get married… I never said it was me you were gonna marry. And then one of them was really just a replacement of the engagement ring."

"So two actual proposals and two kind of proposals?"

He nods, sure of himself.

"One too many if you ask me."

"As long as sometime in the near future, you are Peyton Scott, I could care less what ring is on your finger and which proposal we count as the official…"

"This morning was my favorite. Back where it all started, when we talked to each other for the first time and I told you that you didn't know me. It was like we came full circle from the beginning. Even with all the bumps along the way."

"I'm sorry that it wasn't with the right ring."

"It was perfect anyway, Luke."

They laid in the silence for a while after that, all the talk of their past and what the future held for them at the same time. She finally broke the silence after twirling the ring around her finger for the millionth time since he put it there.

"It means a lot to me to be wearing this ring, Luke. You know that, right?"

"Did I ever tell you that my mom yelled at me for giving the ring to Lindsay?"

"What!? She did not…"

"When she first gave me that ring, it was for you. She knew it and I knew it. Even when I thought you said no and I left you that night, that ring was meant for you. She told me that the ring would be waiting for you. In fact, she was convinced that when I came back from Los Angeles the second time that the ring would be on your finger."

"I've always loved your mom."

"Yeah, well, mom was more than surprised to hear that my surprise coming home from L.A. was that I was dating my editor and not that you and I were finally engaged. The ring went into my sock drawer and only came out when I missed you, or I thought I had made yet another big life mistake."

"Until Lindsay found it." She says, quietly.

He had told her about that night, told her what a coward he had been for proposing to her after she found the ring. She had forgiven him long ago for what had happened, but every now and then it hit her what they could have lost.

"But look whose finger it is on… and I'm telling you right now that short of something horrific that I won't even chance mentioning based on our track record, that ring is never coming off of your finger. Unless we have a little girl and you want her to have it." He says, rubbing her stomach in search of a bump that simply wasn't there yet.

"I think we should."

"We should what?"

"If it's a little girl, can we give her the ring?"

"I hope that she finds a man that has the sense enough to ask for it, but I like it."

"It will see every great love story of this family."

"We don't even have to mention the Lindsay part."

She punched him in the chest then, causing him to cry out at the small pain that he felt.

"That's for mentioning it."

_I wanted her to have everything. She told me that she didn't want to be a princess for a day. She told me that she didn't want the huge wedding with everyone ogling her and clapping and clinking their glasses. She wanted something small with our close friends and family. Vegas was not the way to go for any of that._

_When we got home it was a whirlwind of questions. There was a lot going on with the death of a basketball player that had made his way into our lives. Brooke was in a rocky place, and everything wasn't going the way that it was supposed to. Peyton and I were right where we wanted to be. In love, engaged, and pregnant._

_We moved the wedding up. I saw it in her eyes every time I looked at her. It was love and fear. The baby that she was carrying could have been the end of her, which would have ultimately meant the end of me as well. I pushed it away as much as I could, trying to be excited and optimistic. She saw the fear in my eyes as well, but in the end, we knew that there was nothing stopping us from being man and wife after so many years._

_It happened quickly. All the preparations and the ceremony. By the end of the night everything faded away. It was like another moment of clarity settled in, and all I could see was the two of us. We were going to share that life together, and all I wanted to do was keep her beside me forever and shout from the rooftops that she was finally mine._

**There were people around, but I didn't care.**

**I got down on one knee right there, and once again, I thought I loved you then.**

"You are the most beautiful bride I have ever seen." He whispers in her ear as they continue to sway to the music.

"I think that you might be biased."

"Nope, I'm pretty sure that you're the most beautiful woman in the whole world. In fact, if they would just let me propose and marry you over and over again, I would do it."

"Lucas…" she says, in that teasing tone that tells him she finds his anecdotes amusing.

He got down on one knee in that moment, as she laughed and put a hand to her stomach, "Luke, stop!"

"Peyton Sawyer, will you marry me?"

The crowd, including a very amused Brooke and Mouth, began clapping as they watched the two of them interact.

"It's Peyton Scott, thank you very much… and I'll have you know that I'm already married." She says, playing along with his spectacle.

"Really… what's he like?"

"Not as cute as you… sometimes annoying, hates the Cure."

"Someone like that couldn't be married to you." He says, feigning shock and standing back up to take her in his arms again.

"Maybe I'll ditch him and choose you instead."

"Well, Mrs. Scott, I think that would be a wise choice."

They dance like that for a while longer before he checks his watch and realizes how late it has gotten.

"We should probably get going you know."

She turns to look up into his eyes again, her own sparkling when they meet. "One more dance."

"Then home."

"A whole lifetime of it… but me and baby want to dance one more."

"You and baby."

"I think she likes the music."

"Just like her mother."

"Her father has pretty good taste too, you know."

"Yeah, I meant to tell you when I stole you from your other husband… I don't like the Cure either."

"That's okay. I've got forever to help you change your mind."

He smiles then, liking how forever sounded, loving the way she casually put it out there like that. Knowing that it was the simple truth of the two of them.

_There are times when things are hard between Peyton and I. I admit that it hasn't just been a fairytale this entire time. Close to it, but nevertheless, we are still human. It's just how everything ends up working out in the end that is what matters. We have these moments where our pride gets in the way during an argument or her stubbornness wears me down, and then both of us realize at the same moment that we were being idiots._

_We moved away from Tree Hill right after Sawyer was born. Went out to sea with my mother and sister and her now husband, Andy. That is how this third novel started, just getting to see my new wife in her role as a mother. She inspired me again to write of this wonderful life that I have had. I'll admit that some of it is something akin to a soap opera, but then there are these times where a simple moment stops everything, and you can't imagine being anywhere else._

**Now you're my whole life. Now you're my whole world.**

**I just can't believe, the way I feel about you, girl.**

**Like a river meets the sea, stronger than it's ever been.**

**We've come so far since that day, and I thought I loved you then.**

"Come on Sawyer, you've got to get to sleep sometime soon, or you are not going to be a happy baby in the morning." Lucas says, cradling his daughter as he rocks on the glider.

They were staying in New Zealand at one of Andy's homes, and Lucas couldn't have been more grateful for the amount of rooms in the house. At that moment, he was sure that his daughter would have woken up all of them.

She cried and cried until he couldn't do it anymore. He put her down in the crib, in hopes that she would settle down enough to fall asleep. As he rubbed her tiny stomach and whispered sweet sounds over her ears she wailed on, determined to not fall asleep.

"She still not ready?" Peyton asks from the doorway, startling him.

"She's not going down for anything… I'm sorry. I know that you're tired."

"No! It's fine. You're the one who has to get up early and go help Andy. Go to bed, Luke. I've got her." She says, picking the screaming infant up, hoping to calm her cries.

They continued as he watched mother and daughter interact, Sawyer apparently winning the argument.

"I'll go heat up another bottle. Maybe that'll work."

"Do that, and then you're going back to sleep. Even if she's still screaming bloody murder. You need your rest just as much as I do."

He nods before heading into the kitchen to heat up a bottle.

As he walked the hallway back to the nursery where they were keeping her, he noticed the absence of crying and assumed that the little girl had finally given in to sleep. What he saw was more miraculous.

From the moment she saw her mother, she was enamored with her. It was like she realized that she had lost some time in there and needed to make up for it. From the doorway he could hear Peyton whispering sweet things to the baby girl, promising a wonderful life and two loving parents. Sawyer's eyes were glued to her mother's and she would smile back at her every now and then.

He didn't care about sleeping then, just loved watching the two of them interact. He saw her eyes get droopy, and nearly twenty minutes after she had come in and he had left for the bottle, she rose out of the glider to put the baby into the crib.

She stood there for a while, watching the rise and fall of her daughter's chest before turning when she heard the footsteps walking towards her.

"You were supposed to be in bed."

"I know."

"How long were you standing there?" she says, not taking her eyes off her little girl.

"Long enough to realize again why I love you so much."

She finally meets his eyes, and stands up on her tiptoes to kiss him sweetly on the lips.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Not for that… for her."

"I'm pretty sure that I'm the one who should be thanking you for that."

They both turn their attention back to the bundled baby for a moment, letting smiles grace their lips before turning to walk out of the small room. He stops her right outside, pulling her to him in a passionate gesture that had nothing to do with sex and everything to do with love.

"Peyton, I know that you don't believe it when I say this, but I am so unbelievably lucky to have you in my life. You are the most beautiful woman, most wonderful mother, and most amazing wife in the world."

She smiles, and he's shocked for a moment that she took the compliment without a bite back response, but then she opens her mouth to say something "I'm not…"

He starts to speak, but she puts a finger to his lips, "but I know by the look in your eyes that you really do believe it, so thank you."

_I am forever thankful for the small moments my wife and I have shared, whether it be when we were younger and didn't know what life had in store for us, or now, as we are older and we have withstood the test of time. Every now and then I look at her and she takes my breath away._

_My brother says that Peyton made me a big softie the day she married me, but I always remind him that when he married his wife, my best friend, she did the same to him. I don't think that people really change that much from the core of who they are. They have always had that great person inside of them, and when they are with the person they are meant to be with, that great person emerges. Nathan always had a great heart, it was just hidden from all the years of abuse that he took. Peyton always had such a joyous, carefree personality, but it was masked by the tragedy she had seen so often and at such a young age._

_We are all given a set of circumstances every now and then that will challenge us more than we think we can handle. Or maybe we think we can handle it, but it comes as such a shock that we don't know how to react. I remember planning out my future with Peyton Sawyer when we were younger, and then thinking that I would never get to have it. Then, when we finally "came to our senses" as our friends say, I remember talking about it again._

_The future seemed brighter when we talked about it that second time. We were ready for whatever life threw at us, and we were ready for it together. Even if it came out of the ordinary order that so many are used to._

**I can just see you, with a baby on the way.**

"How can this actually be happening?" he says with a look of sheer amazement on his face as he pulls back from the kiss.

"I hope that you are saying that in shock…" she says, searching his face for any doubts.

"Shock and happy. I just can't believe you're pregnant."

"I know. I've been sitting with it for a day and I'm still freaking out about it. Every time I see myself in the mirror, I freak out a little bit."

"Have you been sick?"

"No… I've been fine."

"Then how did you even know you were pregnant?"

"Honestly, something felt off, and I went to get checked out. I was freaking out and I thought that it was something like Ellie, and I just—" she says, being cut off with a kiss from her fiancé.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"You were leaving and I didn't want you to worry."

"So you worried for both of us?"

"Well, I guess I worried for all three of us." She says with a smirk, placing her hand on her still flat stomach.

"You are going to be amazing as a mom."

"Really?"

"I can't wait."

"You're going to be an amazing father, Lucas Scott."

"You think?"

"I know."

He crawls up into bed with her, throwing the rose off to the side so he can lay next to her. When he gets near her stomach she starts to giggle.

"What are you doing?" she asks as he lifts her shirt up and places an ear on her stomach.

"Trying to figure out if she's going to be a loud or quiet baby."

"Lucas, it's so early… it's not even a tadpole yet."

"Tadpole?!" he asks, picking his head up from her stomach to look at her completely serious eyes.

"Did you not pay attention in Biology?"

"Seriously, it looks like a tadpole."

"Then an alien… then it'll start looking like a baby."

"When is she going to start kicking in there?"

"Not for a while, I think."

"We need some books. Like baby books. Maybe we can get some of those name books too, start working on that."

"You realize that we've got nine months before this baby comes out, don't you?"

"Yeah, but we've got a lot to do! She's got to have her room ready, she needs clothes, she's got to have a big library of books in her room."

"You keep saying she. What if it's a boy?"

"In all my dreams Peyton Sawyer, our first baby is a blue-eyed, curly blonde with her mother's nose. It's a girl."

Tears come to her eye at the comment. It was terribly sweet and perfect in the moment, so she couldn't help herself. "In all those dreams, do you have a name?"

"No, I just know that she's beautiful and we love her."

"I could handle a little girl…" she says in a dreamy voice, laying her head back down and shutting her eyes.

Sometime later she fell asleep. It was probably when Lucas started explaining the finer points of basketball to her stomach. Even after the assurance that the little bundle of cells did not have ears yet, he insisted that she needed to know the necessary stats as a Scott.

_After we had Sawyer, all thoughts of another child were out of our minds. Everything that happened surrounding the little girl's birth was something that we didn't want to relive. I almost lost my beautiful wife of a few hours with the birth of our daughter. I don't regret our daughter one bit for all that happened that day, and I probably love her more for it._

_There comes a time in a marriage, usually a few years in when people start asking you about babies. Since we already had one, people figured that we would come earlier than most on that train. We were traveling around and if we stayed in a spot long enough to get to know the people around us, the question always came up. When were we having our next one? Doesn't Sawyer need a baby brother or sister? How many more are we planning to have? We never answered the questions, just finding ways to politely change the subject._

_We agreed that it wasn't an option for us. The risk was too great, and we were both terrified of the whole idea. God, however has this way of poking fun at those situations. You think you have a handle on everything going on in your life. You say that something is never going to happen to you, and then all of the sudden, you are smacked upside the head and someone tells you that you're going to have another baby._

_We had been careful. Without going into any detail that I'm sure you don't want to hear about, and I'm sure my wife would kill me for sharing, know that we were very careful. Somewhere in the heavens, however, God decided that the Scott family needed another member. Pregnant was a word that brought a lot of joy, but the only thing that we could think of were those four days._

_She has no recollection of what went on in those four days when we were waiting to see if she would wake up. I do. I remember being forced to leave her side, having to take our nameless daughter home without her mother, crying on Haley's shoulder as she tried to convince me that my daughter would have her mother back. I never wanted to relive those moments again, but we couldn't end it. That was a decision that both of us knew in our hearts we couldn't handle. Not after Sawyer and the joy that she brought to our lives._

_By some miracle and grace of God, our second daughter made it into the world months after we thought it was all caving in on us._

**I can just see you, when your hair is turning grey.**

"Come on Peyton, you can do this."

"No… I can't." she says, breathing labored and sweat on her brow. "Luke, I can't do this."

"I have never seen you give up Peyton, and you aren't going to start now. We have a little girl in the waiting room that wants to meet her little sister. Don't you want to see our new little girl?"

"Lucas, I can't…"

The doctor sends him a pleading look, trying to get him to urge her on to push, and he squeezes her hand tighter.

When he leans in and kisses her cheek, he whispers in her ear, "Peyton Scott, I love you, and you can do this. Just a few more pushes and she's here."

"Luke…" she says, it coming out as a whimper more than anything else.

"You are one of the strongest women I know. We have been through so much together, Peyton. This isn't going to beat us. Not this."

She starts to nod as he says the words, sitting up a bit more, "Okay…"

Two pushes later, Danielle Elizabeth Scott was born and placed in her mother's arms.

"She's perfect." She says, looking down at the little girl for the first time.

"She is."

"God Luke. I didn't know that this was how it felt…"

"What?"

"I… I didn't get to see Sawyer when she was first born… and this… I was so scared but so excited at the same time."

"Why would you be scared?"

She waits for a moment as the doctors continue to work on all of the things they needed to, taking the baby away for tests and ensuring that everything was okay with Peyton and the delivery.

When it is finally them alone, he asks the question again.

"I thought I was going to get out of that." She says with a smirk on her face.

"Talk to me, Peyton."

"I know that this isn't like last time. I know that, but in the back of my head all I could think about were those four days. Four days of my daughter's life that I missed. The first four days of our marriage. And you didn't even know if I would wake up. I just… I started to think about all of that, and I was so scared that this was the end of it. It could have been the end of it."

"No, it couldn't."

"But it—"

"It couldn't… do you know why?"

She shakes her head as the tears start to fall down her cheeks.

"We aren't done yet. There is so much more for us to do, Peyton. We have two beautiful little girls to raise. We have a life to live. I want to see you when you're old and grey, and I want you to still laugh at my bad jokes even when it hurts to laugh. We have so much more to do together Peyton. We're just starting."

"I know that, I do."

"Thank you…"

"This again?"

"You gave me another beautiful daughter, I had to thank you for that."

"I would give you fifty more if I could."

"Woah… not fifty. But, maybe I could handle one more." He says with a smile on his face.

She looks at him with the same smile reflecting back. The future was there for them to plan. It was scary, but they could get through it, challenge by challenge.

_I still recall that day we decided to leave. It was all of the pain and craziness that the little town we grew up in was drenched in. There were some bad memories out there. Yes, we got through them, but how do you expect yourself to forget all that has happened to you. When we left, it was right after Dan had stopped by again. No matter how much he thinks he has changed, nothing can change the fact that my father killed the man who I wished to be my father. All of the things that he put Nathan through just added to the list of reasons why I hated Dan Scott. He was another connection to this town that I didn't want to have to face anymore. So, we left. We went off to travel the world, as I said before._

_Somewhere in the middle of all of this everything changed though. Sawyer was growing up, and the only thing that I wished for more than anything was for her to grow up with her family around her. A few months after finding out about Peyton being pregnant again, I was sitting on a boat deck watching my mother and my wife interact as Sawyer played with her Aunt Lily. We moved back to Tree Hill a month later._

**What I can't see, is how I'm ever gonna love you more, but I've said that before.**

"How are you doing over here?" Peyton asks, moving to his side and throwing a towel around her small frame.

"I've got a beautiful wife, a beautiful daughter, and another baby on the way. Could I ask for more?" he answers, looking back into the eyes of the woman he loved.

She searched those eyes for another answer though, the answer that he wasn't saying because she knew him that well.

"What are you thinking about Blondie?"

"You want to go back, don't you?" she says simply, settling back into her chair as she watched her daughter starting to fall asleep in her grandmother's arms just a few feet away.

"How did—"

"You're kidding me right? Luke, I know you better than anyone else in the world, and to me your thoughts always seem to come out loud and clear."

He sighed, taking in the same sight she was just moments before. "What gave it away?"

"It was when you were watching Lily and Sawyer earlier. I could see it in your eyes. You're happy, but you want more."

"I love raising her around family."

"But it isn't the family that you envisioned, is it?"

"Does that make me a bad person?"

"Luke, you and I had interesting situations when we were growing up, and when we did finally grow up, we found ourselves surrounded by Nathan, Haley, Brooke, Skills, and all of our friends. They all became our family…" she stops for a moment, searching him again to figure out what he was thinking. "…and I'd be lying if I didn't want to do girl nights with our daughter and Haley and Brooke while you and Nathan and Jamie and the guys go off to play basketball at the river court."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

They sit for a few more moments in silence, taking in their surroundings, thinking about the conversation that they just had when Peyton is the one to break the silence.

"So when do we tell your mom that we're leaving?"

He doesn't answer, but pulls her into a kiss instead, knowing that there was no one else in the world that could know him better than the woman that was by his side.

_To say that it was a shock for us to move back would be an understatement. So much happened in the short time that we were gone. Peyton's record label had apparently been through the wringer, Haley had gone on another tour, Nathan thought he had lost his spot on the Bobcats, and Brooke had seemingly snapped back into her old mindset in some regards. They were all so glad that we were home though, and when the girls found out that Peyton was pregnant again I didn't see my wife for days. Apparently women need a lot of time with each other when they find out that one of their own is pregnant._

_While Peyton went off with the girls and carted our daughter with her, I did just what she said I would do… hang out with my brother and nephew and our friends. I love how far Nathan and I have come in our relationship. I remember looking back on high school and going through a rollercoaster of emotions with regards to my brother. I hated him initially because he had a father and a mother and a big house and everything that I didn't get to have. Then I found out that it wasn't everything that I thought it was, and my best friend saw in him a person that I never knew he was. Nathan Scott is an amazing man and I'm proud to have him as a brother._

_Our friendships were apparently the strong ones, lives that could pick up right where we left off with no hiccups or hard feelings. They all understood why Peyton and I left. I'm pretty sure they understood why Peyton and I came back too._

**Now you're my whole life. Now you're my whole world.**

**I just can't believe, the way I feel about you, girl.**

"It's our first night back in town and go figure that Haley wants us all over there for a big dinner." Peyton says, slipping earrings into her ears and smoothing the dress over her tiny baby bump.

"It's Haley, so that really shouldn't surprise you at all."

"It doesn't, but I'm just saying…" she smiles at him… "It's good to be home."

"It is isn't it?" he says, coming up behind her to rest his hands on her stomach.

"What do you think they're going to say about our little surprise?"

"Honestly, I think that they are going to be so excited that we're back that no one is even going to figure it out."

"It's Brooke and Haley, Luke, they'll know the second I step through the door."

"You give them entirely too much credit."

Sure enough, five minutes in to their reunion Brooke screams something about pregnancy and then all the girls are screaming and jumping up and down. It fit then, just like it always had. We told stories of our travels around the world and sent love back from Karen and Andy and Lily. Nathan was teased about a few of his NBA games that Lucas had caught while they were traveling. Peyton and Haley talked about the different things they wanted to do with the label now that Peyton was back and wanting to do more. Brooke talked of a new men's line and with inspiration from learning about the newest Scott realized that she needed to get started on a baby and kids line for Clothes Over Bros.

"So, what made you decide to come back?" Nathan says, catching Lucas alone on the back deck while the girls chatted away and the kids had all fallen asleep in the play room.

"This… you guys… the baby."

"Yeah, that's somethin'. We didn't think that you guys would even try for another one."

"We didn't really try for this one."

"Scott sperm, right?" Nate says laughing and hitting his brother on the back in a playful gesture.

"Yeah, but it's okay. Everything looks good so far, so we're optimistic."

Nathan nods, taking in the expanse of the back yard, and then turning to look through the windows at the three women sitting in the living room on the couch.

"They're something aren't they?"

"You realize that you-"

"Don't even think about bringing that up again…" Nathan says, knowing what Lucas was going to say to his younger brother in a joking manner.

"But seriously."

"Yeah. I know that we had some rough spots… all of us, you know? But then I look in there and I see Peyton and all I can think of is how much I love her. Everyday something else happens to make me love her more, and it comes out of nowhere."

"I get that."

The two men stand there for a while longer, letting the comfortable silence fall over them for a little while longer before suggesting that they go inside and make the girls go to bed for the evening. Nathan pulls him back right when he reaches the door.

"Luke?"

"Yeah, man?" he says, turning to face his brother.

"I'm glad you're home. We missed you guys."

Then they pull in for one of those manly side hugs that guys do. The one that tells the other how much they care about each other while still keeping their cool factor in tact.

"When did we become such bad saps?" Nathan says finally, shaking his head.

"I guess when we grew up and got everything we wished for?"

"Sounds about right."

_So there is my life. If you read my first novel, you can see how it all began. The love triangles, the hatred for my brother, the realization of Peyton being the one for me. It's all in there._

_But this… this is another love letter to my wife. She is forever my inspiration. All the things that she and I have been through and all of the things that we have yet to come are not so scary. How can those thoughts be scary when you have the love of your life at your side._

_My hope is that someone reading this book will understand that all the crap leads to something eventually. You might be with someone else right now. You might hate where you are right now. There may be something getting in your way, but push through it. In the end, the final product might be worth all the crap you had to go through to get there. In my case, it lead to a beautiful wife and two wonderful daughters. It lead to a family composed of blood relatives and best friends. I lead to being able to have an unbelievable list of memories that I can look back on and think to myself how at the time, I thought it couldn't get any better than this. It did._

**We'll look back someday at this moment that we're in,**

**And I look at you and say, "and I thought I loved you then."**

**--**

Okay, no joke, I was riding in my car the other day listening to this song… after hearing it on the Carrie Underwood Christmas Special, and I thought that it was the perfect Leyton song. I hope this fic wasn't too confusing, and I hope that you enjoyed this not so little one shot!!


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